Suitable not Compatible

Compatibility is one word that often come up especially in relationship. Relationship experts, amateurs and everyone around reminds you to be sure you and your mate are compatible when choosing a partner. Almost every book I have read talked about making sure you and your partner are compatible as it gives your relationship a chance of survival. I wasn’t so lucky to have anyone guide me through relationship with the opposite sex as such so a lot of  the things I knew came from the books I read and personal experiences. Oh boy did I get burnt a lot? You bet I did!

So I had this friend(a guy) at some point in my life. We were best friend and everything was going good at least until everyone around us started to say how compatible we were for each other. I constantly heard things like you guys are compatible, you look good together, you should date already! Before I knew it I had developed a crush on Mr Perfect. Well my crush remained just that as Mr Perfect wasn’t in the mood for a relationship. I finally borrowed myself brain and decided to catch a flight instead of catching feeling…lol.  On this note a quick advice especially to young ladies is to guard your heart dilligently! If a guy is not asking for a relationship disregard his actions and set clear boundaries.

So I have been working a lot on my relationship and thank God for mentors guiding me and making the journey easier.  Trust me I have turned a full cycle but that is not the crux of the matter here. The important thing is we have pushed ourselves and people into  relationships they have no business being a part of in the name of compatibility. Oftentimes we drop our values and compromise just because someone is compatible with us. Then as I study and apply myself to guidance I discovered something significant. The bible in Genesis 2:18 said it is not good for man to be alone, I’ll make a suitable helpmate for him.

Note it didn’t say compatible, it said SUITABLE!!! Suitable means right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose or situation. While compatible means capable of existing or performing in harmonious or agreeable combination. That means the fact that people  are compatible does not necessarily make them the right fit for each other.  In the pursuit of purpose you will need more than compatible my dear friend. The journey of life requires that you are moving with someone who is the right and appropriate for your journey. 

Imagine travelling across the desert and taking a winter jacket with you! Suitability is not in the bank account, job they have or their pedigree it is in the value they live out for all to see, it’s in what is important to them, in how intentional or otherwise they are about their life. It is about the authority over them, who and what they submit to, the direction of their journey etc. That is not to say being compatible is not important or doesn’t play a role. It plays a huge role but be sure that person is not just compatible but suitable! Remember you don’t want to be the guy that uses AK47 to kill a fly and insecticide to kill a lion…

PS: The next time someone pressures you into choosing someone because they think you guys are compatible, tell them to park well!!!🤣😁

Prayer: I pray for everyone reading this piece that they make the right choices in life by the leading of the Holy Spirit. Amen