Eat that Frog!

How many times have you put off writing that article, enrolling in that class or going to the gym? I can guess if you are human like me you have done it so many times you lost count already, so you have finally resigned to fate, giving up on reading about that new productivity hack or time management app on the block. Maybe even people around you have pronounced their verdict about you, you are just plain lazy they say! You have heard too many times you now believe you are truly lazy, I mean how else can you explain your sloppiness right? 

Well I have news for you today and that is to tell you to see procrastination for what it is, it is a symptom not a root cause. The reason why nothing seems to have worked in helping you overcome your proscrastination is that it is a symptom of an underlying problem, just like a rise in body temperature is a symptom of something happening inside your body and not the disease itself. Identifying the root cause of why you procrastinate is half of the battle won because as you understand the underlying emotion(s), you are able to come up with suitable strategy to combat it.

The first root cause of procrastination is fear! Yes you read that right…for some it is the fear of failure, of looking stupid, of being ridiculed or laughed at but for others it is the fear of success. A lot of times, the human mind soak up the negative occurrences and conveniently forget the positives. That is why emotional wellness is a journey, we have to continually put in effort in checking that our thoughts, beliefs and values align with who we truly are. Can you remember a time you have been working hard for a promotion and the moment you are given the promotion and a new assignment you suddenly develop a cold feet? That is because your mind suddenly recalls that one time you failed though it was fifty years ago, then fear creeps in and you begin to doubt your ability to perform well. Another instance was that time you deliberately pulled back so that your light won’t shine too bright and be perceived as proud. Your mind might actually be sabotaging your work😏. Fear is emotion-based and reinforces a negative or limiting belief.  So you might be procrastinating on that business idea because you think you don’t have the abilities to successfully execute or you are still stuck on that one experience of failure you had in your childhood. Failure is an event not a person!

Another very interesting reason for procrastination is perfectionism. Some people are perfectionist and would waste so much time trying to write the perfect book, paint the perfect picture that it only lives in their heart. Listen girlfriend! Nothing in life is perfect, change your view because the most beautiful things in life are imperfect. Perfection lies only in your head. Sometimes you are not able to make sense of a piece of work, at other times the ideas are all jumbled in your head but discussing with someone gives you clarity. So have a second and trusted opinion before you push it into the recess of your mind. Perfectionism leads to anxiety and low self-esteem because you will be too hard on yourself and others around you.

Thirdly fatigue leads to procrastination. There are times in life when we have our plate full and burning out but we keep pushing. Maybe because you want that validation, approval or endorsement but you are already running on empty. It mostly happen when someone has low self-esteem, think love is given based on performance or seeking validation. Low or drained battery is a killer of productivity, know when to take the step back and recharge. 

Finally, lack of organisational, planning or prioritisation skills. Unfortunately these skills are not taught in the classrooms but are important through every stage of life. Every aspect of your life requires planning, organising and prioritising. It is pertinent to know when to do what, have a structure and a process so that life becomes much easier. I understand there were times you need to be more flexibility but it will help you get so much more done. 

Now you see that most procrastination is not done out of laziness but there is an internal battle raging on in your mind. Trust me the world has gone beyond living in a cocoon, reach out to someone if you are a procrastinator. Send me a message and we can set up a clarity session for you for free❤️…Have a procrastination free week!

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Support System 

The last few years of my life has been quite a journey and while I am grateful for the tons of lessons I have learnt along the way it’s been a looooong one. In those years I quickly learnt that having a support system is absolute to my success. My first encounter with the concept of a support system in deliberate term was when I re-dedicated my life to Christ and I was especially building intimacy with God. I prayed and fasted a lot and the momentum was great but I was scared to loose it because I love that presence, that relationship so I began to ask the Holy Spirt for help. As I prayed one night, it dawned on me that I need a support system and I began to pray for a company of women that will stand with me in the place of prayer with unity of mind and love and press into God’s presence with me. Fast forward to few weeks later I was gifted with four amazing sisters and a beautiful journey started. Over time like the bible rightly said, God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing. God has indeed created different support systems for me in various situations and for varied purposes and I have also been positioned as support for another person. A support system can be one person or any number of people.

Merriam-Webster university define support as : to keep from fainting, yielding, or losing courage : comfort; to keep (something) going. It defined support system as : a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support. I also remember a proverb that says, a tree does not make a forest. Infact God never created human beings to be in isolation, the bible said it is not good for man to be alone and he went on to make him a helpmate. I don’t know what you are going through at this time, maybe it is the loss of a loved one, an empty nest(all the children married or off to college), matured single with no real relationship, divorce/separation, just finished that big goal and now you are confused about what next or you have suddenly woken up from your slumber and you are wondering what is happening? Where did the time run to? What next? Maybe it is even a happy time, you just had a baby, got married, started a new job and life is beautiful, still a support system keeps you grounded and on track.

Yet more profound are those times when we are going through difficult experiences and everything seems bleak, a good support system will give you stability, comfort, hope and a sense of direction. So important is a solid support system that it is an entire module in an online course I’m creating. It will teach you to create a solid support system or be a support system, features of great support system, toxic versus healthy support system, healthy interdependence, why your present support system is not working & how to fix it and drawing healthy boundaries within a support system relationship. Are you as excited as I am?

We all had or have support around us most times but they are mostly unconscious, I am a strong advocate of intentional living and I know you can’t keep doing the same thing in the same way and expect a different result. Therefore I am calling you into intentional living, creating the kind of life you want by taking decisive and guided actions. Who says you have to walk alone, fight alone or do life all by yourself? Absolutely no one! So darling, let’s (Yes we do it together, we will co-create!) help you create that life you want by building a solid support system that helps you to keep going against all odds. The year 2018 is upon us and I would love to see you live fully from the best part of yourself. Trust I am already laying the foundation of my support system for 2018 as it is a year of fulfilled prophecies for me! Care to hitch a ride with me? Slide into my DM, I have huge love and respect for you

Prayer: I pray that you are guided and enlightened in all ways. That the eyes of your understanding is open and your whole being is flooded with light in Jesus Name. Amen!

Transform | November 24, 2017 at 5:20 pm | Tags: 2018, Coaching, help, intentional living, new year, support, support system, system | Categories: Coaching, purpose, Spirituality, Uncategorized | URL: https://wp.me/p8tKOQ-2y
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Corrupted Identity

I have had a long night and I rounded up at about 5:45am, excitedly looking forward to a quick prayer and sweet sleep for the next 5 hours. So living room light switched off at exactly 6:10am, I wobbled to my room and as I entered, the Spirit of God sent me to get both my bible study and prayer/purpose journal😳. Rolling my eyes like a pertulent child I went back to the living room to get both journals and just like that the spirit of God led me into bible study and flooded my heart with light for the next two hours. He opened up my understanding on his purpose for family/marriage and it was the most beautiful experience ever! Follow me as I try with the help of the Holy Spirit to give you an account of what the Father has revealed to his daughter this morning. It is so profound, I just had to share this…after the encounter I just laid there in His presence, soaking in His love and enjoying the warmth of his embrace…you know how it is now😘😉.

First he started with identity because without a clear cut identity you can’t have an understanding of what is available to you, what you should be doing or who you are take less of laying hold of it. A lot of believers have not been able to operate in the fullness of what they are called to or who they are because they only know and operate in their identity of born-again, blood-washed, spirit-empowered child of God. But even more important to God is your identity as a son/daughter of God, 2corth 6:18! Oftentimes a believer would say I know I am a daughter/ son of God but their perspective has been distorted by earthly examples of the Father’s representation. Now, what God wants you to know and understand is that the highest priviledge of redemption is for you to become a son. God’s intention for sending Jesus was his love for us and he knows that the fullness of that love and the full priviledge of it is only for family members (sons and daughters). Therefore the Father laid out the plan, Jesus-the first born of sons carried it out and the Holy Spirit completes the work in us by sanctifying, regenerating and glorifying us, perfecting the covenant of adoption and giving us family resemblance. That was the revelation King David got in Psalm 144:12 when he said, “then our sons will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughter will be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace. Not forgetting that in Ephesians 2: 19-22 the bible said, “Now therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone. Verse 21 – 22 is very pivotal to this discussion: In whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling of God in the Spirit.

He is saying I adopted you and paid that price in full with my blood so that you can be sons/daughters, having full privileges of the family, growing into a Holy temple through the work of the HolySpirit. The goal of the Holy Spirit is to produce sons/daughters who are like their Father (God) and their brother (Jesus). Adopting you into this family allows God to open up the depth, height, width and breadth of his love to you. So the family system is a very important unit to God because it is the channel through which he births sons/daughters and grows them into a holy temple. Marriage among believers is meant to be a direct representation of this process and covenant so that the coming together of a son and daughter of the Lord in holy matrimony can be a model through which unbelievers understand and unravel the mystery of God’s love and sacrifice and our adoption into his family. That is made possible as the Holy Spirit polishes us after the similitude of the palace and we become as the chief cornerstone(Jesus Christ). That is why the very first blessing God pronounced on man was in Gen 1:28, after seeing his children created so perfectly and like him, he blessed them saying be fruitful – grow in your relationship with me, multiply meaning create a beautiful family, and exercise dominion by taking care of it just the way I will take care of you. This major blessing is activated when there is a joining of sons and daughters. That right there is why the devil is laying siege on the institution of marriage, preventing it so that men does not have an accurate representation of God the Father! In fact it is so important to God that he warned us that perverting the institution of marriage is one of Satan’s strategy for the end time.

So the Father is actively looking for sons and daughters who will come together in Holy matrimony to carry out God’s divine mandate of growing in our relationship with him, showing the world the love of the Father and the mystery of the covenant of sonship through adoption. Son/daughters who will bring forth and raise righteous seeds to exercise dominion, people whose robe has been washed in the blood of the Lamb, who receives the Father’s love and pour it out to the world. That is why marriage is honourable, that is the basis why knowing your identity is important to God’s plan, that is why marriage was instituted by God and should be entered into by sons and daughters of God. Don’t let the devil lie to you by making marriage about happiness or about you, the plan of God for marriage is beyond you! It is far bigger, better and brighter than you!

Pray with me: Thank you Father for your love and for adopting me into your family. I pray that you enlighten my heart that I may fully understand all that I have read. I surrender myself and my seeds to this divine mandate, I declare that we have an accurate representation of the Father’s love and we walk in it. Amen🙏

Closer than Imagined

This will probably be my most unpopular post on this blog because what is on the heart of the Father has suddenly become old-fashioned. I wanted to put up a post this week on purpose but then the spirit of the Lord is saying there is something more important, more urgent that my people need to hear. The bible in Revelation 2:29 said “whoever has ears, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches”.

The dimension of God we always want to know and see is the dimension of love! Yes! He is love, the bible in John 15:13 said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends”. Christ loved us and chose us, while we were yet sinners he died for us that we might be a partaker of a glorious destiny in God. Indeed the love of the Father is deep, it is infinite and we can’t fully comprehend it no matter how much we try. But there is a dimension of him he wants us to pay attention to at this crucial time. The terror of the Lord! His judgement! In 2Corth 5: 11 the bible said “knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences”.

What I am trying to say is the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ is so close that even believers will be caught unaware. The time when it will no longer matter if you attend the biggest church, own the latest car or the colour of your skin is yellow, green or brown. The rapture is closer than we imagine people and the Lord is extremely sorrowful that the church, which he has redeemed by his blood is sleeping and getting carried away by things that does not matter! Works that are dead and has no eternal value!

Once again like in the days of John the Baptist, the voice of the Lord is crying in the wilderness, PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD. I Thessalonians 5:2 says “For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night”. You know the devil is giving us the impression that we have time on our side, he is saying things like, Jesus will come but don’t you worry because you will see your grandchildren and that is about twenty years to come. He is saying to you don’t worry the signs are not complete yet but a lot is already happening that your human mind cannot fully grasp. He is giving us false hope so we have all this elaborate plans for a life that amounts to nothing and will fade away like grass.

My message to everyone today is simple as it’s been given to me by the Father. JESUS IS COMING SOON, HIS SECOND COMING IS SO CLOSE AT HAND IT IS UNBELIEVABLE! The Lord has placed an urgency in my spirit to give you this message. Please be prepared, Christ is coming very soon. Let this post be a witness in your heart that the Father loves you and you are always in his thought hence this reminder. He is desperate to save you and welcome you into his kingdom to be sitted with him at the right hand of the Father. The Father is committed to your redemption, it is top priority! It is no longer a cliche, it is no longer an event for the future! It is real, it is so close for those that can discern the time. There is urgency in the realm of the spirit, Christ is not concerned about the quantity of our congregation but the quality of the harvest!

I pray that this message becomes fire in our bones. That the refiner’s Fire purifies us and take away everything that does not align with the perfect will of the Lord in us. Lord purge us, cleanse us, purify us, make us a vessel fit for the Master’s use. Save us Father, we are desperate for you! Turn every heart of stone into flesh, give us a heart of humility,help us to do that which is right at all times in Jesus Mighty Name! Amen!

Love Conquers All

First, I’ll like to say I’m so sorry for my absence from writing lately. The Lord is doing a quick work in me and needs me to focus on other things. Yet like someone with hunger pangs I have carried you, my friends and loved ones in my heart. I have prayed for you also that you will not miss out in the move of the spirit at this end times.

Also I have carried in my spirit a heavy burden for the body of Christ, the church whom He died for. I understand more than ever before it is easier to get caught in the trap of the pursuit of happiness, money, a good life and all the trappings of the world. Moreso the devil has firmly planted himself within the church. Yet don’t be deceived by all that is going on around you, for the Lord has preserved unto himself a remnant and his raising his army for the end time.

God is calling us all to a life of repentance, of holiness, of fellowship with himself and deep intercession! It is an urgent call!!! We need to birth the revival and holy revolution not just within the body of Christ but also in our families, homes, communities and nations. There is need to arise and take a stand for what is right and if you identify as a christian allow the Holy Spirit do a complete work in you.

One important ingredient to have is love! The love of Christ sets us apart, put a burning desire in us to reach out to others and show compassion. The right kind of love is only found in Christ! The bible said while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us! One of my favourite prayer point this year is that God will teach me how to love like him.

I know this is not one of my usual post but I’m just obeying the Holy Spirit. I love you all with the love of Christ and my prayer is that as you read this post the Lord ministers to your heart to do that which is right before him. That you will take a stand for him in all you do, that strength is minsitered to you to fight the good fight of faith and that my Father in heaven is glorified in your lives. Also it is my sincere prayer that a burden for intercession is created in our hearts so that Christ is glorified in his church(the bride) and the bride is preserved blameless until his return. Amen!

Godly Courtship

Hello beautiful people out there! It’s been a while I wrote an article, life has been busy but not too busy to help someone find clarity. The world as we know it today is all chaotic and there is a lot of grey areas especially in christian courtship. Most people including myself (in the past) just wing it, we do it as it comes with no clear cut strategy so it is really difficult to replicate the process. A lot of Christians talk about courtship God’s way and they think the only thing it applies to is premarital sex, yet after all the I will practice celibacy talk you find yourself back to the status quo. I’m sure like me you wonder why your promise and resolution never worked! 

First calling it godly doesn’t automatically make it godly, it becomes that when it is purposeful(clearly defined purpose) and it is God-centred. A godly relationship is courtship not dating and it is grounded in God. The bible says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” 

Friendship is the foundation of any great marriage because if you manage this stage right, you would have succeeded in starting strong. The friendship stage is the first stage of Christian courtship. Now I believe in a man and woman praying way before they see or think they are ready for courtship or marriage, it gives you a level of clarity about what you are looking for, it allow you lay hold of God’s promises and pray right. This is especially important for a man because he’s the one looking. Praying when you ain’t looking means you will likely pray God’s will and listen more for direction. This stage is devoid of intimacy, romance, long telephone conversation and what nots. Please brothers it is wrong and ungodly to pick up a lady everyday, talk for long hours on the phone, run errands and buy her gifts and come back with I never said I was interested, we were just friends. No sir, you planted a seed, your actions said all the things you didn’t say and it is unfair. My dear young lady don’t allow any man awaken love in you before it’s time, guard your heart and put healthy boundaries in place, you will be saving yourself a lot of heartbreak. Don’t become an item with someone who has not committed to you so much that people start to pass snide remarks about you. The key word is GUARD YOUR HEART! Pure, plain friendship without secret agenda and in a non-intrusive or desperate way. It allows you know each other without pretense or expectations and in a very healthy and natural way.

This leads to stage two which is the interest stage. You have been friends, watched this person maybe from a distance for some and you are interested already. It is time to get to know the person better, to find out more about her.  At this stage I recommend you arrange to spend time in same church activities, hangout as group of friends etc. It will allow you to know each other without putting pressure on yourself or acting out commitment you don’t intend to keep. Speak , chat occasionally but please it is not yet time to call each other for 2hours every night. Now by the time a man is saying, hey! I want to know you, I expect he has the leading of the Holy Spirit and has prayed throughconce ing the lady in question. It is just not fair or nice to tell someone you are interested in them and come later to tell story about how God said she’s not the one. That is what friendship stage is meant for! Watch her, pray and compare what you hear from God, with what God has told you in the place of prayer before she even came along. The interest stage is where you want to know her purpose and see if he fits into yours, know enough to help you make wise and informed decision. Please ladies if a man shows you interest and he won’t move past that in the next three months, he’s not made up his mind on what he wants, move on. I expect ladies to also pray at this stage, make sure you get a word from God about him and proceed with caution. It is also your responsibility to watch and ensure he fits into your purpose and journey. At this stage you are both assessing and finding out pertinent information about each other. Not every tongue speaking, bible carrying brother is a husband material. If I were you I would talk to my spiritual mentor at this stage with details of the stage we are, so there’s no pressure or undue expectations from either side.

The third stage is pursuing stage. Ladies please allow a man speak to you about his intention and allow him pursue you. I expect that at this stage he has communicated his intentions. I assume if a lady is allowing herself be pursued by a man she has a word from God already. It is still not time to talk about your best sex position or that family secret no one knew about. Slow down darling, apply break , put a lid on it just yet! Enjoy being pursued, be certain you both want the same thing and inform each other’s spiritual cover/mentor. You know his intention, that is he has communicated it verbally to you and you have agreed.

Then you can now enter the stage of committed relationship. The courting stage is charcterised by commitment, clear cut purpose and communication. I want to believe that by now you have both parent’s consent and you have started to lay the foundation for the kind of marriage you want to build. Remember that if it is godly then you want to put boundaries in place and you are practicing sexual purity ( no smooches, kisses, cuddles, foreplay, heavy petting etc). Build communication, discuss everything that is important and you need to know. Discuss the hard things, face your truth like health history, finances, credit history, family patterns, traditions etc.

Finally the engaged stage! Finally he proposed, every girls dream in a relationship. Be happy, celebrate but don’t loose focus. Your wedding plans will start but remember you have a life after that. No matter how great your wedding is your marriage is more important. Money, the stress of planing and coordinating the event will get to you at some point.Watch closely, you will begin to notice more than before if you have successfully built friendship, great communication system and if you have good conflict resolution skills. You will need it for the forever part so take note of it. It is like your mini report sheet  , if you are mindful and aware you will know if you have built something solid or shitty! 
This is by no means exhaustive in itself and neither is it a one size fit all or only way to do it. Whatever you do, keep it pure, uncomplicated, grounded in God and be transparent. Make sure you find your rhythm, own your journey, do you!

Prayer: Father I pray for every single that they are divinely directed to connect to their helpmeet, divinely helped to court in a godly way daily presenting their body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto you. They are guided by the Holy Spirit and submitted to your Lordship in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen.

Credit: Adapted from Jamal Miller’s guide to Christian courtship.

The Purpose Series I.0: Higher Calling 

The grave happens to be the richest place on earth because it contains loads of unfulfilled purpose. Purpose is not just a cute word carved out by some wannabe “thought leader”, it is the reason for your existence! The only reason God deems it fit to keep you alive is because of your purpose. Without purpose abuse is inevitable, without purpose you are not useful to yourself or the world in general. God has created you for a purpose otherwise he wouldn’t! The family you were born to, the experiences you have been through, the people in your life, the resources available to you and the talents, giftings & ability in you is not an accident, it is so that you can fulfill your purpose. It is intentional! God is counting on you, destinies are waiting for your manifestation and generations are waiting to be blessed by what you carry inside of you.

No one is born without a purpose, make no mistake about that. Our purpose can only be found in God, our maker. You can only truly understand and fulfill your purpose by asking God and searching the scriptures. When Apple manufactures a new gadget such as iPhone, they inform the public about the functions it can perform and when you buy one it comes with a manual. The bible in Colossians 1:16-18MSG, “We look at this son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank of angels- everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him”. 

You were started in God, he determined everything about you down to the minutest details. Finding that purpose requires you to know him, trust him and walk with him. He wants to express his love and the fullness of his power through you. He created you to love on you, he made you his kind that he may enjoy fellowship with you, he made you that the splendor of his power and grace is make known on earth through you. In him is everything you seek. 

Until you find that purpose, the reason for your existence, nothing else matters. Nothing is as important, it is your essence, the very life you live! Not education, wealth, career, marriage or material possession is as important because until you live a life of purpose you have not started living. Do you even know that you get to give account of your purpose, your life assignment before God? Yes you do! When you are not running with purpose, you run empty! Life becomes boring and monotonous. 

Find your purpose before you find a partner, you will be glad you did…

Prayer: Lord I pray with everyone that you help us find you and allow you to guide us into your purpose. Father bring clarity into our heart and help us to focus on you as you guide our steps. Amen.

Rock Bottom 

Have you ever hit rock bottom? That place were you have expended all you have and you are forced to lean on grace. You suddenly realise the frailty of human nature, you then begin to appreciate those little things you have taken for granted. Rock bottom is that place where you have cried all the tears, shame or humiliation no longer applies. Suddenly your survival instinct is on all time high because you then realise there’s only one way left and that is to go up.

We naturally don’t want to hit rock bottom. It’s too uncomfortable, too painful and too hard a season. It’s the real school of hard knocks, a place where we are battered and bruised but also beaten into shape. We are forced to grow, to think creatively but most importantly to move from comfort zone to stretch lane. You no longer have anything to loose so you try everything in the most creative ways ever. It is a place of growth, clarity and refinement.

I remember my first encounter with rock bottom. I had finished high school and was waiting for my WAEC results(GCSE equivalent) so i could go  to university. I had plans, I had hopes and I looked forward to my freedom with such fervour! The news filtered in that the results had been released as I was in the kitchen cooking one sunny afternoon. I didn’t know what to expect, I looked forward to checking my result with trepidation. Very early the next morning I woke up and went straight to school. You see I was a prefect in high school, I was always gentle, neat and always smiling so I was liked by most of my teachers.

As I entered the school compound, I met one of my favourite teachers, we fondly call him master. He received me with a smile then went on to tell me how much the school has missed me. As he rattled away trying to bring me to speed about the interesting gossips, I smiled sheepishly but my heart was gripped with a mix of fear and anxiety. Eventually he let me go and directed me to the right office to check my result. By now a few of my classmates were around and we briefly exchanged pleasantries. The short walk from the school compound to the principal’s office took forever. Finally I got to the office, submitted my identification number…Needless to say that was my first real encounter with failure. I had just 3 credits, 4 passes and 1 F9.

My heart sunk, I played all possible scenarios of what my parents would do to me in my head and picked the worst one. My dream of freedom, of becoming a doctor has been dashed and in a twinkle an eye replaced with heaviness and doubt. I went home and hid myself in my room for the rest of the day until my mom came to fetch me that night. I found myself standing face to face with my parents, my hands clasped behind my back like someone facing a panel, a sombre look on my face with my heart racing like a formula 1 car at the grand prix. I stuttered and stammered trying feebly to explain away the result as I handed it to my dad. He skimmed through it and I could see the look of disappointment spread slowly across his face. Well I went back to high school wrote the examination 2 more times and finally passed all my papers in one sitting. It took me 3 years to cross that hurdle.

In those 3 years I learnt to depend solely on God to do his part but I also learnt to do my part well. I learnt the important of the decisions I make and how it contributes to the bottom line. I learnt to pull myself up by the shoestring when life beats me down, I learnt to submit to mentorship, I learnt to live uncertain about what tomorrow holds, I learnt to accept my faults and take responsibility for my actions. I learnt to stand up again when live beats me down, to love myself enough to encourage me to try again, to believe, to live and to dream. With the benefit of hindsight I realised God was preparing for something bigger than me. I gained strength, courage and determination from my rock bottom encounter.

It’s rather sad that  parents now try to shield their children from their growth and refinement process when infact that was what got them to where they are. No wonder we have an entitled generation on our hands. Let me quickly remind you that failure in itself is not bad, it is how you handle it and what you do with it that matters. 

Let’s learn to be grateful for every season of life, let’s learn to enjoy the process and appreciate the plan God has. Remember gold is just dirt without going through refinement. So also we are raw materials in the hands of our maker, we need chiselling and refinement to bring out our best. No wonder the bible said “I know the plan I have towards you, of good not evil, to give you an expected end”. God never waste a hurt! Even though there are times when the refinement process leaves scars but trust me they are beautiful. Those scars are your trophy of grace, the testament of your strength. 

God shows up when it looks like it’s over, that is his area of speciality. Remember he makes a way in the wilderness, he brings forth water from the rock and when our back is against the wall and it seems all over, he suddenly makes a way.

 Are you going through refinement now? Does it seem like it’s over already? Maybe you have even lost hope and you no longer care what happens. I have news for You! It is not as bad as it seems, God is just growing you. Quit whinning and get on with it. Enjoy the process and learn all you can. He will surely bring you to a place of rest, that is why he said he will lead you in the path of righteousness for his name sake.

Prayer: Father we thank you for your banner over us is love. I pray that everyone going through rock bottom phase would find peace and courage in you. That everytime you take us through this process we receive grace & patience to learn, grow and become all you plan for us. To come out shinning bright on the other side. Thank you Jesus.

Fatal Choice

This post is especially for every single lady out there looking, waiting and praying for a suitable man. I hope you are able to apply this key point to your life and that it helps you make informed decisions about choosing right.

One of the most troubling question I had back in the days was, how do you know a man is born again? That was because I would date this tongue-speaking, bible carrying, church going dude and say to myself thank God I finally found someone who will do it with me God’s way. Then before I know we have done it our own way, messed it up real bad and back to square zero. It happened a few times, I desperately wanted to choose the right person and do my relationship God’s way but I didn’t know how. Over the years I have also had my friends ask me the same question. It is a very important question that must be answered because the person you choose sets the tone for the outcome of the relationship. I didn’t know the answer until I started to walk with God and apply myself to God’s word.

I believe the most important criteria will be choosing not just a born again but a man with a progressive relationship with Christ. He’s got to be a man who is consistent in his fellowship and communion with the father. How do you know that he has a relationship with Christ? John 15:8; Matthew 7:20- A godly man produces kingdom fruit and the bible said by their fruit you shall know them! So the best way to know any man is through the fruits he bears. A godly man would not tell you that it is ok to experiment with sex because he understands that his body  is the temple of the Holy Spirit and he has been renewed in his thinking. A godly man leads you in building godly characters in and out of church because he understands that he is the church and the bible people read. He leads in his relationship with the father and he’s willing to share it with you.

Also this man has learned the art of fellowship and communion with Christ and he clearly hears divine instruction and obeys them. So from time to time he shares divine directives with you and help you confirm those things God speaks to you about. He’s sharp in the spirit! A godly man will not be scared or shy to share his faith and word of God in a non-offensive way with you and others around him. This man has godly convictions, that is, value system based on God’s word that governs his life. There are just some things he won’t compromise on, he’s not blown around by every wind. He won’t mess about or cheat not because you are beautiful but because he fears God.

A godly man is submitted to the Lordship of God in reverence, of his parents in honour and of the set men(pastors/mentors) in his life in authority. Therefore he won’t make his decisions in haste but carefully seek God and confirm with these people. Even his decision to marry you will pass through the right process of confirmation and listening to godly counsels. A submitted man is a blessing like David the King, he seeks godly counsel before taking any step. He is a man with a solid support system, a group of godly people who keeps it real with each other by being accountable. He understands that he’s human and the devil thrives where there is secrecy and lies so he keeps it 100 at all times!

This man knows to accept his fault and make things right with his maker and people around him when he’s out of line. He’s spiritually strong, emotionally beautiful and intellectually sound. He understands kingdom principles of giving, leadership, management and excellence and daily strives to live by them. He is a man of purpose, he’s got visions and dreams aligned with God’s word concerning him.You think he’s perfect? No he ain’t perfect, he has learnt not to conform to worldly patterns but instead be renewed by his word. He makes mistakes but he accepts them when corrected in love. You won’t have to cajole him to pray, go to church or study the bible because he understands they are not just activities. He’s got an understanding of times and seasons so he prepares ahead of time. Here for me is the most romantic attribute he has, he prays for you, with you and over you!

I know you read this post and thought I don’t think this kind of men exist! It seems like she just described Jesus😀. Then you rolled your eyes 🙄 and said I’ll die single if I keep looking for him. The news is you don’t do the looking…Once you allow God pick you up, wash you, test you and get you ready he’ll bring the right one your way and give you wisdom to choose right. Mind you, to get his kind means you are also getting yourself ready and following the same process because it’s a two way street. 

Here is a prayer I pray when God began to teach me about relationships: I pray that the man you have prepared for me is one whose heart is stayed on you, aligned to your will and purpose for his life and loves you more than he will ever love any human being. Lord model your love to him, teach him to love, to lead and to build in Jesus Name. Amen

I pray for you that God gives you patience to wait for a godly man, discernment to choose right and wisdom to not choose based on fleeting qualities. I also pray that you are found doing the will of the father and pursuing purpose in Jesus Mighty name. 

For every man reading this article I pray that God gives you grace to serve him faithfully, bear godly fruits and be the man he has created you to be. Amen. 

Run for Your Life ❗

Doing the right thing at all times irrespective of who is doing wrong is my value challenge for this week. One of the ways I choose to do the right thing is by standing for what is right and lending my voice to it.

So I join my voice to that of women all over the world to say domestic violence is wrong on all levels, abuse is totally unacceptable in all its forms, shapes and sizes! I don’t care what the woman has done but no one should be abused or violated, No one deserves that! 

Also it is wrong that when abuse or violence happens especially in marriage we are quick to judge. Wait who made you the judge? When did you become the Holy Spirit (arinurode olumoran okan) that you sit upon your high horse to pass careless comment over what you know nothing about? What if you are going through worse and you choose to stay there? That is totally your choice but doesn’t have to be another person’s story.

Wake up women! Stop tearing each other down! There’s so much we achieve if we come together to fight this plague that threatens our existence. Let’s start from teaching our children especially boys to become responsible adults. Let’s not only teach but model the love of Christ to them in the way we treat our maids, cooks, driver and everyone around us. Let our male children learn to do chores, allow them to be vulnerable, let them learn compassion, kindness and empathy through your character. Let’s join hands to raise men of character whose hearts are not raised unto vanity.

Please and please stop advising our daughters, sisters and mothers to stay in abusive relationships.  Even if it is not physical abuse that you can easily see the scars, other forms of abuse are real and just as potent. Emotional scars are more difficult to heal. There are loads of women in mental facilities just because of these issues. Some women say they are staying for the sake of their children. Really? You are damaging those children by putting them in a toxic environment. You are making their lives miserable and planting the wrong seeds in them. 

Finally to all women being abused, please seek help! You only have one life and trust me God wants you to live happy. Don’t allow anyone use religion to bamboozle you o! God is not mocked!!! God is first of all a loving, compassionate father whose mercy endureth forever. Your life is more important to your God than divorce. Don’t be a statistics, please run for help if you are being abused. At least pity your parents and don’t make them mourn over you even if you hate yourself so much!

A word is enough for the wise!!! Shalom.