I have a burden in my heart for singles out there especially young ladies. I see a lot of destinies aborted and lives ruined on the alter of marriage. We have become a society obsessed by marriage,so parents pressure their girls into bringing the ‘one’, the community measures your level of responsibility and sometimes emotional stability through the length of years you have stayed married. Your relevance and acceptability in some communities depend on your marital status. Ladies approach the dreaded age of 30 with so much trepidation, suddenly all the confidence and achievement fly out of the window and all they want to do is ‘settle down’. 

What is even more alarming is we are mostly not equipped for this important step. So we choose the most expensive wedding gown, learn the latest dance in town, carefully pick out vendors for the wedding and plan the most romantic honeymoon that will make even Hollywood stars jealous. Trust me I have been there and done that, so I’m not judging anyone but we really need to speak up about these things. The very people that pressures you into getting married at all cost are probably going through rough patches in their marriage but will never tell you that part of the story and a lot of time they almost make me believe they pressure people out of wickedness. Please folks stop asking people when they will get married, when you will be invited to eat jollof rice ?(if jollof rice is your problem cook it in your kitchen or gate crash a party). Stop making snide remarks, asking questions that embarrasses another person all in the name of wishing them well. If it bothers you so much that someone around you is not married yet commit to praying for them.

Please folks let’s stop ‘marriage-shaming’ (that’s my word for it…lol)! Marriage is beautiful if done right but it is never the be all for anyone. Not everyone wants to or will marry and that is perfectly OK. There’s nothing wrong with them if they don’t want to get married or if not yet married. Everyone have their own timing and our race is never the same. What is the essence of rushing into marriage and splitting up after a short while. It is not a joke, it is not a car that you take for test drive, it is not something to take with levity. Patience is a virtue, it is an art. Please ladies let us learn the art of patience, let’s learn to wait gracefully!

I pray for all the single men and women out there that God will lift up the countenance of his eyes upon you. I pray that he will give you grace to run your race with patience and strengthen your heart as you wait and face the pressures of life. I pray that he will guide you and keep you from the counterfeits, that you may choose right. I pray that in your season of singleness you will grow into the purpose and will of God for your life.

Grace to you…

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9 thoughts on “Wait!

  1. hmmm best words well said. Many people get in it and are stuck, others takes the wise decision and bowed out when the ovations were loudest while those who are fortunates look like the best players in the game. Its all different strokes for different folks. If you are lucky all the best! if not take the bold steps and bow out when you can unscratched.

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  2. This is tastefully insightful. We live in a world where marriage has been greatly over rated, it seems like the next big thing. A lot of people get into it without getting equipped enough. God bless you for this write up, amen to all the prayers. Hope a lot of folks out there read this so they know for sure if they are ready for the task ahead or just tired of the “marriage -shaming”.

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  3. Hmmmm…. this is so deep my Sister.. this is not only for the Singles but also for Parents! They really need to read this,so they can understand their children that are yet to be married, so they don’t put unnecessary pressure on them cause they see other people’s grand children and all… May God help us all. Seriously the World needs to read this.. and start getting the purpose of Marriage right! God bless you Sis mi, greater grace and insight IJN.

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  4. Okay so I read this and I’m once again reassured that I’m not at all ‘crazy’! 🙂 I stumbled at this article and it resonated because these are my exact sentiments about marriage, and maybe with a little twist for the guys. The shaming tangent to this is particularly insighful as many of the so-called ‘shamers’ never really interceed, totally hypocritical. Gate crash a wedding, lol, that has always been my classic response. Now , here’s my angle to this. Many ladies know how to ‘wait on God’ i.e seek His face, but not many of us know how to ‘wait for God’. At times He’s just saying ‘I have listened to you, I have heard your request, there’s no need to fret, JUST HOLD ON!’ Go through, hold on! And that’s the hard part, holding on! Praying for fresh grace for you in this ministry! Godspeed.

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